May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
And rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.
- Irish Blessing
Friday, April 21, 2006
Tick Tock
I'm at work. I've been here for a little more than 5 hours. I can, in theory, leave in about 1 1/2 hours (I'm an "exempt" employee and can basically come and go as I please, work permitting). And I am completely and totally bored out of my mind. My boss is out today, but I can't leave because I'm the only employee here who does the type of work I do, so in essence, I'm the designated representative. And since my boss is out, I can't ask him for more work, although I'm sure he wouldn't have much to give me, 'cause Shoe-Shopping Co-Worker has asked him the same thing for a few days now and got nothing.
I've reviewed the documents I had to review - the only project I had on my desk that I'm not waiting for something else to be done before I can continue. I've read my favorite sites - PBPO, Tomato Nation, This Fish - and I've played my usual two different versions of online Sudoko (which is quite addicting, I might add). I've done about all the online shopping I can take/afford. And now I'm out.
This is really pathetic. Can't I just go home and play with my cats and veg in front of the TV? Yes. In an hour and half. Sigh.
…to watch someone get married. Ok, it wasn’t a chapel but instead a lovely garden. Fearless Cousin is a mere 5 months older than I and left home before she was 20, driving across the country with her dog and grand plans to live in a big West Coast city. She had many adventures along the way and settled in a small town in the mountains instead. That was her destiny, and that is where she met her now-husband.
I’ve been to many, many weddings. Nearly all of my friends, and now, nearly all of my same-generation family, are married. In fact, I just learned that one of my cousin’s kids is getting married this summer. Mind you, this cousin is about 10 years older than I am, and her daughter is only 18. I’m starting to feel alone in this single-ness, with literally one close friend joining me in this status, and I really do enjoy being single, as long as I'm not directly confronted with what I feel like I'm missing. Even so, I never could have imagined the emotional impact of Fearless Cousin’s wedding.
It was a beautiful, small wedding and reception, and I was truly happy for her. She’s been through a lot in the last year, and I am so glad she has found her prince, who indeed seems to be worthy of her. As I sat in the ceremony, I felt the first twinges. Nothing I couldn’t shake off, though. At least not until the reception. When Fearless Cousin and Prince had their first dance, it was all I could do to prevent the tears. I’m not proud, but I’m willing to admit that it was pure envy.
I later realized that most of my strong emotional reaction to pieces of the wedding and reception was driven pretty significantly by my hormones. Indeed, I felt better about feeling so bad, but I do wish I had come to this realization sooner. Not that it would have made the experience less emotional.
I can’t tell you how relieved I was that there was no bouquet toss, but since I think there were only two single women, including myself, it would have been pointless as well as humiliating. Thank goodness for small blessings.
Tonight I met my new nephew. He was less than 7 hours old. When I saw him, my heart grew just a little bit bigger, making room for another precious person in my life. I'd forgotten just how little they are and just how quiet their cries are. And while I hated to see him cry, I took just a little pleasure in my success in quieting him, even if only for a little while, since only his mother could give him what he wanted.
Welcome to the world, J. I look forward to watching you grow and to being your favorite aunt (recognizing that I'm the only aunt you'll ever have).
I never imagined I'd be one to say that I have too many clothes. Seriously, I adore shopping, and my closet is completely filled, though I dare anyone to suggest that there is no more room for any more clothes. I will prove you wrong in exactly 1.2 seconds. Or less. The reality is that I don't even wear a lot of the things in my closet, but I'm also a queen procrastinator with grand plans of cleaning out the closet and getting rid of things I'll never wear again. Someday.
But this morning I had a fleeting thought that maybe I *do* have too many clothes. I dismissed it quickly, but it was already out there. You see, I have my closet organized, not just by color but also by sleeve length - sleeveless, short sleeves, and long sleeves (including 3/4 length). And as I was removing one of my cats from the closet before she chewed a hole in my sexy red silk tank, I noticed a sheer black sleeve sticking out from the sleeveless section. My first thought was, "That's a sleeve. It doesn't belong there. And funny, I can't tell you what shirt that sleeve belongs to." I pulled the top out to discover a fabulous black "going out" top that I haven't worn since I bought it. Looking at the label, I realized that I had bought it in December (it came from a store that doesn't exist where I live).
Now I desperately want to go somewhere so that I have an excuse to wear it, since I don't "go out" all that often. I'll consider that an incentive to get moving on increasing my dating prospects, which I actually started on last week...more on that later.
